"Love and Other Indoor Sports"--Judy Blume

Well, here we are again...the LOVE blog...
With a twist.

So, here's your scenario--it's 15 years in the future.  You have 2 children, boy and girl.  You may have given birth to these kids, adopted them, stolen them from bad homes like I do dogs, whatever--you have them.

Their ages are 12 and 13.  Your daughter is older.  Both of your kids are, of course, stunningly attractive and have each shown interest in romance (same sex/opposite sex--again, doesn't matter).
Based on your personal experiences, what do you want them to KNOW about love?
Will you tell them?
Will you let them find out on their own?
What are the most important and key pieces of information you want your kids armed with when it comes to notions and ideas about love?
How much of what you tell them will be based on your own experiences?
And finally, where did your own ideas about love come from? Do you think that had anything to do with how you feel about it now?

Markers of Progress

Henry David Thoreau once said, "Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."

First, agree or disagree?
Tell me a story that illustrates your view, and try to include relevant examples that show how you understand and conceptualize your idea(s).

The Winds of Change

On January 20, the 45^th President of the United States will be sworn in, and approximately 6 billion people globally will watch it happen. And there are some who won’t.  But, that won’t stop it from happening.  That seems to be the thing about life—when we least expect it, when we’re not ready for it, when we think we need more time—it happens. Life, that is. So, no matter what side you are or were on during the past 15 months of the election debacle, here we are.

Tensions are high; you don’t have to be an expert in emotional intelligence to recognize that some people are dealing with the upcoming inauguration in very different ways, and those ways don’t often reflect the views of their friends, family members or maybe even general society.  This often creates even more tension.  So, let’s try to take the anxiety down a notch.  Let’s try to remember that at the end of the day, most people try to be decent citizens and quality humans.  Let’s try to extend kindness to one another so that kindness becomes the norm, rather than the exception.  Let’s all remember who we are.

To do that, maybe we should take a look at some of those who came before us.  Let’s look at someone who dared to stare down the hostility and degradation of racism not with the arrogance of a pointed finger and a rolled eye, but with the kindness of a smile and a soothing word or two.  It seems fitting now, one day passed, to talk about MLK and what he stood for then, as well as what his legacy stands for now. 

You all know the “I Have a Dream” speech, and you all know that it is a rhetorical masterpiece, ripe with all the devices and strategies that good literature is famous for, but what it also is is one man’s blueprint for his own American Dream.  54 years ago, Dr. Kind delivered that speech about his dream of equality.  In some ways, the world is a very different place now than it was then.  However, there are some who would say it is not nearly as different as it should be.

So, your challenge this week is to carefully consider the upcoming National event of the inauguration and what that means to people, as well as think about the state of the world you currently inhabit.  If Dr. Kind were alive today, do you think his dream would be different?  How so?  If you think it would be the same, how come? What is your own dream about the future of the world? Construct your own “I Have a Dream…” and show me how you conceive of the American dream.  What kind of impact will the next four years have on that dream?   

New Beginnings

Whew.  So, it's over.  2016--the year of...well, there are really too many adjectives, verbs and hyperbolic phrases that could be inserted there, so that's where I think we should start.

I am a huge fan of moving forward--I don't even like to put my car in reverse if I can help it--true story--but I also recognize the value of taking a backward glance from time to time. I mean, how else can you see:

1) how far you've gone
2) how much you've left to go
3) where the twists, turns and pot holes in the roads were

Now, for me, of all of those, #3 means the most.
 Like I said, I am a fan of moving forward, but most of the time, the natural enemy to forward thinking or really any kind of positive progression, is repetition.  The repetition of a mistake is the most obvious deterrant to progression because it usually means going backward, but even repeating things that worked out for you can be detrimental to progress because it could mean that you are comfortable and not taking any more risks, and then, consequently, you can't "really" progress. Personally, I like to see where things went bananas for me, or where I made a wrong turn, or how taking the shortcut would've helped me had I only listened to someone else.

So, usually right around now, I allow me the time I need to take stock of my personal and professional situations. I should do this more often than just the start of a new year, I know this, but something about the symbolism of starting at 1 just speaks to me, so here I am.
What I noticed I did way too much last year was to let things that were either out of my control, or not really fixable in the first place, define who I was.  As a result, I spent too much of 2016 feeling like a colossal failure. Thus, for 2017, I have decided to form BOTH an interpretation and a life plan from something I read by accident over break. It was a quote from a long-dead German author named Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (that G name is actually pronounced "Gert-A), and it states: "Things that matter most should never be at the mercy of things that matter least."
I am trying to find a sign that says that, but so far, no luck.

Now, its your turn.
First--I want you to fill in that sentence I started at the beginning: "2016--the year of ____________". Explain your choice.
Second, of the three reasons I listed for why looking back is good, which one do you see the most value in and why? Explain in detail.
Finally, moving forward in whatever area of life you want to focus on, how would you like to proceed that is AT LEAST marginally different then whatever you did last year?

Lost in Translation

I must confess that for as long as I can remember, I've felt felt a tinge of loneliness; ok, more than a tinge. It isn't because I don't have tons of friends--I mean, I don't, but I don't need tons. The scant few I've got are all I need because I've never been the type of person who judges herself on popularity. That seems stupid to me, given how fleeting popularity really is.  But, this year, I began to rethink the way I jusdge friendship as well.



Often, when I'm feeling alone, I like to keep moving. Specifically, I like to go for walks.  Well, first I drive to a place I've either 1) never been OR 2) always go.
It's the drive before the walk that allows me to let go of the day and absorb the night. These walks of mine always happen at night. I feel like that's an important detail. Don't ask me why.
So this is the state of affairs that brought me to Center City Philly the first Friday night in November.

As I roamed Old City, a place I once lived,  I found myself replaying some of the interactions with various people I'd had up to that point in the day. When my mind settled on one of the day's conversations--I don't remember which--I distinctly recall feeling a rising tide of frustration. And while I'm sketchy on the details of the conversation which sparked these thoughts, I know precisely what frustrated me that evening, because it's something that consistently frustrates me to no end: the realization that most people seem to have no handle on what it means to be "a good friend." Not that I feel that I have a monopoly on the definition. It's just that I feel that people throw the term "best friend" around like it's a hacky sack, with little to no thought about how their use of the term speaks volumes about what they value in terms of human interaction.


So, you guessed it. I'd like you to weigh in on the subject. What does it mean to be "a good friend"? Who's your best friend? Has that changed? Be specific, cite examples and do your best to arrive at a definition. But DON'T consult a dictionary. If you absolutely can't resist the temptation to chew on someone else's thoughts on the subject, I'd like you to google quotations on friendship and tell me if you come across one that sums up your views on the topic--or one that doesn't if playing devil's advocate is your thing.  Share the quote with us and connect it with your response. Don't rush your thinking. Let it marinate...

"Emotions have taught mankind to reason"--Marquis de Vauvenargues

Ok, storytime! 

 I need you to think about this for a bit before you answer. 

When constructing your response, write in third person to keep yourself out of it, BUT, you can still use an example from your own life.  I am just trying to keep your writing skills from going to crap!

In your opinion, what is the most powerful emotion? 
 Love, hate, jealousy, indifference?  
Why?
Provide an example that illustrates exactly how that emotion is the strongest one of all. 
 Be as detailed AND persuasive as possible.

A Grateful Nation?

So, this year has not been kind. To any of us. AT all.

And, when things don't go well, when we're sad, when we think the universe is conspiring to ruin our good times, we tend to do a few things. We mope, or we complain, or we point fingers.  It's rare that when life hands you lemons, you give thought to the best lemonade recipe you know, even though that's what we try to do and it might even be what we say we do.  It just does not always work out like that.
What I want to be able to do, ideally, is look at a situation as an OPPORTUNITY.  Even those situatons that are working my nerves--I wish I was  able to be THANKFUL that I have a situation that can really test my problem-solving skills.
Wouldn't that be awesome? If I could look at it that way?  Imagine how my perspectives would shift about everything.  Nothing would be awful because everything would be a lesson in which I had a chance to learn something.
So, bottom line, I wish I was thankful for ALL opportunity, not just the ones that may provide immediate, tangible benefits.

So...your turn.
What do you WISH you could be thankful for?  How come you're not?  Can you see any way to change your own mind about it?