Lost in Translation

I must confess that for as long as I can remember, I've felt felt a tinge of loneliness; ok, more than a tinge. It isn't because I don't have tons of friends--I mean, I don't, but I don't need tons. The scant few I've got are all I need because I've never been the type of person who judges herself on popularity. That seems stupid to me, given how fleeting popularity really is.  But, this year, I began to rethink the way I jusdge friendship as well.



Often, when I'm feeling alone, I like to keep moving. Specifically, I like to go for walks.  Well, first I drive to a place I've either 1) never been OR 2) always go.
It's the drive before the walk that allows me to let go of the day and absorb the night. These walks of mine always happen at night. I feel like that's an important detail. Don't ask me why.
So this is the state of affairs that brought me to Center City Philly the first Friday night in November.

As I roamed Old City, a place I once lived,  I found myself replaying some of the interactions with various people I'd had up to that point in the day. When my mind settled on one of the day's conversations--I don't remember which--I distinctly recall feeling a rising tide of frustration. And while I'm sketchy on the details of the conversation which sparked these thoughts, I know precisely what frustrated me that evening, because it's something that consistently frustrates me to no end: the realization that most people seem to have no handle on what it means to be "a good friend." Not that I feel that I have a monopoly on the definition. It's just that I feel that people throw the term "best friend" around like it's a hacky sack, with little to no thought about how their use of the term speaks volumes about what they value in terms of human interaction.


So, you guessed it. I'd like you to weigh in on the subject. What does it mean to be "a good friend"? Who's your best friend? Has that changed? Be specific, cite examples and do your best to arrive at a definition. But DON'T consult a dictionary. If you absolutely can't resist the temptation to chew on someone else's thoughts on the subject, I'd like you to google quotations on friendship and tell me if you come across one that sums up your views on the topic--or one that doesn't if playing devil's advocate is your thing.  Share the quote with us and connect it with your response. Don't rush your thinking. Let it marinate...

"Emotions have taught mankind to reason"--Marquis de Vauvenargues

Ok, storytime! 

 I need you to think about this for a bit before you answer. 

When constructing your response, write in third person to keep yourself out of it, BUT, you can still use an example from your own life.  I am just trying to keep your writing skills from going to crap!

In your opinion, what is the most powerful emotion? 
 Love, hate, jealousy, indifference?  
Why?
Provide an example that illustrates exactly how that emotion is the strongest one of all. 
 Be as detailed AND persuasive as possible.

A Grateful Nation?

So, this year has not been kind. To any of us. AT all.

And, when things don't go well, when we're sad, when we think the universe is conspiring to ruin our good times, we tend to do a few things. We mope, or we complain, or we point fingers.  It's rare that when life hands you lemons, you give thought to the best lemonade recipe you know, even though that's what we try to do and it might even be what we say we do.  It just does not always work out like that.
What I want to be able to do, ideally, is look at a situation as an OPPORTUNITY.  Even those situatons that are working my nerves--I wish I was  able to be THANKFUL that I have a situation that can really test my problem-solving skills.
Wouldn't that be awesome? If I could look at it that way?  Imagine how my perspectives would shift about everything.  Nothing would be awful because everything would be a lesson in which I had a chance to learn something.
So, bottom line, I wish I was thankful for ALL opportunity, not just the ones that may provide immediate, tangible benefits.

So...your turn.
What do you WISH you could be thankful for?  How come you're not?  Can you see any way to change your own mind about it?

On the Eve of the Apocalypse...Some Points to Ponder

This week, please consider the following questions, and then respond with your insight and ideas.  Try to be as detailed as possible.

How do you think your generation views women in general?
Ask your parents or someone your parent's age how their generation viewed women.
Is there a difference?

Do you think people in general are mostly open-minded or closed-minded? Support your answer with examples.

Do you think there is a double standard in the way society views men and women? Explain.

We may as well get our views out now--just in case we aren't allowed to speak anymore after tomorrow...

Sometimes Life Needs a Reset Button

Time to get down.

These questions are tough, but answer honestly, otherwise--what's the point?

What's the worst thing you have ever done to someone?  What do you consider it the worst thing?  What were the consequences/rewards to doing this thing?  Was the sacrifice (doing something awful) worth the reward (whatever you got out of it)?

What's the meanest thing you have ever said to someone?  Why did you say it? What was the outcome?

If you could go back in time and have a "do over" for either of the above worst things, which one would it be?  Why?

How We Learn

Ok, so I'm not trying to steal any thunder from any psychology teacher around here, but this week we are going to talk a bit about social learning theory, especially as it applies to how all of you think about things, but more specifically, how you learn about things.

So, first, the basics: social learning theory was developed around 1976-7 by Albert Bandura.  Up until then, the general thoughts about how kids learned centered on behaviorist theories (think Classical and Operant conditioning--or if you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, click here to educate yourself on the topic):

No clue what you're talking about, Bunj.

So, Bandura pretty much agreed with Watson, Skinner, and Pavlov about the components of learning, but he wanted to add what he thought were 2 key ideas: 1) there is a connection between stimulus and response, and 2) people learn through observing others.

So. to recap, social learning theory suggests that you all learn from watching people around you, mimicking them, and catologuing the response you get.  An example people use has to do with what is known as the BoBo Doll experment, where kids watched adults either hug, and kiss and speak sweetly to a doll, or punch, and kick and speak harshly to it.  When left alone with the doll, the kids mimicked what they saw the adults do.
So, Bandura used the results from this experiment to further hypothesize that it wouldn't just be adults that kids mimicked.  He believed that if the kids got a positive reaction (response) from other kids after doing things (stimulus), they would learn that those things were the "right" things to be doing.  Basically, we can blame him for the concept known as "social awkwardness" then, because he taught us to guage the reaction of those around us in order to set up ideas, boundaries, parameters or whatever you want to call it,  about how to act in public, and around our peers.

So, let's test the theory.  Think back to your most awkward or embarassing moment.  How did you know it was awkward/embarassing?  Talk a bit about that, about how you recognized the awkwardness or knew to be embarassed. What did that experience teach you about your actions?

Blurred Lines of the Acceptance of Rape Culture

This week, we are going to start tackling some of the pretty weighty issues prevalent in our world today.  These issues do not only affect women as you will see; all too often society has a way of excluding the men from the victimology of sexual assault, abuse and harassment, and some of the things we will read about and look at will show how damaging that can be.
First, we need to talk a bit about the notion of "rape culture" and how we can define that.  So, you guessed it--I'd like you to take the first stab at making sense of something that should really not make any sense to anyone.

What exactly is "rape culture"?

In class we are going to be taking a look at songs and their lyrics, and to that end, we will be examining the 2013 summer jam "Blurred Lines" by R. Thicke, that everyone and their uncles were singing 3 years ago.

Are there other books, movies, songs, videos that you feel may send mixed messages about what constitutes appropriate sexual behavior. expectations, etc?  Give some examples.

Finally, the link below will take you to an article about Project Unbreakable.  Give it a read. The images are powerful.  We will talk about it in class throughout the week.


http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/09/25/project-unbreakable_n_3989621.html

Society's Ills and the 204 Prescription

Last week in class we talked about what's wrong with, and in,  society.  You all had some insightful comments, and a few of the most prominent ones were as follows:

• closed-minded people
• racism
• a lack of acceptance
• raising a nation of closed-minded racists 
• sexism
• deliberate (and enjoyed) ignorance

 Pick one or come up with a different one and talk about your experiences (or lack of, which is just as good of a story because the perspective is different) with it.  But, since we aren't a bunch of weepy, whiny weasels and we actually want to DO something (or at least enter the conversation which is in fact DOING something), talk about what you think can be done to either:

a) raise awareness of the issue

b) change the perception ABOUT the issue

c) fix the issue

Because, if not us--then who?

The Picture Worth a Thousand Words

Many teenagers don't read or listen to much world news.  Who can blame them, really? It's depressing.
 For example, there are still  stories all over the news about the Syrian refugee crisis, although that subject reached the apex of  emotional overload last year  when the images of a dead, Syrian toddler washed up on a Turkish beach went viral.

Many news media outlets were criticized for televising those images, especially MSNBC and CNN, because the common line of thought is that the American people just don't have the stomach for that sort of thing.  They might be right.
 But, do you think images that are disturbing, shocking and even terrifying SHOULD be made public?  I would like you to click on the link below. It will take you to a blog that I follow.  The picture I am referencing is contained within the post.  The post itself is interesting, and we probably will talk about it, but for now, you don't have to read it if you don' want to.  The picture is disturbing--there is no question about that.  You don't need to absorb the finer points of it if you don't want to.  The question I would like for you to consider and write about is this:
Should images that evoke such visceral (this means "of the gut" as in--gut-wrenching) reactions be made public?  What are the benefits?  The drawbacks?

Click here for the pic: Be warned--it is disturbing.